Robert Mueller sexually harassed me!

[Pat Mustard]

That's right he did it. I was sitting on a park bench reading and eating a hot dog. Up he strolls in a trench coat with his hands in the pockets, one hand moving likes he's fumbling for change. Then he just blurted out "are you a goer" and flashed me. I fell off the bench and then ran as fast as I could.

Nope, no one else saw it but it's true. 

Now I need others to come forward and support my claim. What did he do to you?

No, you can't see my bank account transactions.

He came up to me during lunch break one day in school in his Brothers' habit pushed me up against the wall hard and french kissed me for ten minutes solid while feeling my balls through me trousers.