If you're an Atheist, what comforts you?

[Angrboda]

Actually, in Judaism there isn't much talk about the afterlife. In all of my years of attending a Conservative synagogue, I've never once heard of anyone mention an afterlife. So my comfort from Judaism was not as much from a standpoint of heaven (that was leftover from my Christian upbringing), but more from the structure for living, rituals, community, help processing and healing from difficult events (like the synagogue shooting), the belief in tikkun olam (repairing the world), and other things. Right now I'm wondering if there's enough value in that to want to leave Judaism altogether. But the rituals that we do certain things "as God commanded us to" is troubling because of the things they say are commanded aren't find in the Torah but have been added by rabbis. So an increasing amount of things are prohibited by rabbis that aren't prohibited in the written Torah, so it's getting even more insane to try to tease out what's in the Torah and what's being hashed out by rabbis. And then there's the fact that I don't LIKE the God of the Torah. He's a cruel and sick bastard. So how can I say good things about him in prayer?

There is a movement of secular Judaism. Have you considered it?