Civility

[Belacqua]

This seems like free association over words with a positive connotation.  

Consider again, though, that whatever space honesty would occupy...kindness and patience, or civility (one needn't be kind or patient to be civil, and civility is an effective mask for a complete lack of either), insisted upon..must by need replace it in that space.  If some honest thing is neither kind, nor patient, nor civil..and we defer to those three over the first, we have lost that honesty and miscommunicated ourselves...but we've prevented none of the unkindness, none of the impatience.

I don't just disagree with a nazi, to use the internets favorite example.  I don't just think that this ideology is wrong, and here's why..I think that it's abhorrent and wrong, and would rather people be wrong than abhorrent.  There is no civil way to phrase this..particularly to a nazis ears.  History informs us as to the consequences of being civil in these instances.

I think I cover the Nazi situation in point 2 of the OP. 

If there were horrible extremists posting here, neither reasonable argument nor personal insult would have any effect. In real life if you meet such extremists you have to choose whether to take action or walk away. In that case, I suspect that calling the police would be the usual course, and would be more effective than personal insult. 

I'm aware of Popper's argument about not tolerating intolerance, and I have no fight against that.