(November 19, 2018 at 9:10 am)Jörmungandr Wrote: Incivility, which is something of a misnomer, is the original natural state. It is a base feature of human nature. It is civility that actually needs the explanation as it is the behavior that is layered on top of our baser selves and interferes with them. Not that explaining the motives for civility is difficult, but it seems wrong headed to approach 'incivility' as some kind of aberration in need of explanation and civility as not.
Well, I don't think that "natural" necessarily equals "good." I agree that lashing out when we hear something we don't like is a natural instinct. But maybe we should control it. If there are good reasons not to do a natural thing, then we shouldn't do it.
As for the utility of socializing people, yes, of course, that's important. But we have to think about what we're teaching. The medium is the message, and we often learn more from the form than the content. So if your kid is acting out, and you try to socialize him by calling him a worthless piece of scum who shouldn't have been born and he should go die, then the proximate bad behavior may stop, but he has learned that this is the way to make things happen. It's a power relation based on giving bad feelings, not a lesson in good behavior.
