Partner is suddenly very religious |

[vulcanlogician]

Thanks for the reply.

It’s a Baptist church. It’s probably not that extreme, it just seems that way when I sneak peeks at the books - content makes me uncomfortable.
She’s just had depression, and I don’t want her to join this because of any vulnerability.

As much as anything else I think you for your “I’ve got a Christian wife, we are ok” comment. I think that’s what I wanted to hear. Do you ever/often talk religion? Do you go to her church?

My Dad was a lifelong agnostic/not-give-a-fuckist who leapt onto the Baptist train later in life. Since he spent so much time as a nonbeliever, it was easy for me to connect with him on that level. I'd inquire as as to what was being advanced from the pulpit or being taught in these "classes" he was encouraged to take. He'd rattle off some silly shit, and I'd offer up the skeptical angle on things. They were actually pretty fun conversations. My Dad's church was big on strawman arguments. Pretty easy to knock down what they were advancing, but I made sure not to come off as hostile.

My advice: be understanding of your partner's foray into religion. Talk to her about it. Listen to her. (And if you you feel like shaking your head while listening, instead make eye contact and nod your head. If you feel like rolling your eyes, don't-- instead say "interesting..." and nod your head some more.) But don't be afraid to offer a counterpoint to the Baptist's point. The thing is, she is getting some kind of fulfillment out of it or she wouldn't be going there. The last thing she needs is someone who doesn't understand something that makes her feel better. Your job (as I see it) is to support her decisions while at the same time challenging any silly ideas she might acquire.