Doublespeak?

[Duty]

I once spent an evening in the company of a theology graduate crack whore (and no, I was not a customer). By the end of the evening I was so distressed by her totally uncivilised and knowledge vacant life, and of the way she "cared" for her infant daughter, that I offered to GIVE her my laptop in the hope of it spurring her into some kind of wisdom. She apparently realised this would be an existential shock to her ignorant, selfish, slovenly, beastly existence and so refused! That's a lot of crack that could've financed...scary laptop I guess.