what Does it Meam to be InLove?

[EgoDeath]

Two guys have told me they loved me but weren’t in love with me. Why is it necessary to be in love? What does being in love do for a relationship? Even though these guys claimed they weren’t in love with me, I couldn’t see what was missing in the relationships I had with them.

It's hard to say Rhonda. I don't know if I've ever been in love, at least not in the way that a lot of people describe it. Though I wonder how realistic, or healthy, that concept of love even is.

To me, being "in love" isn't necessary to be in a happy relationship though, depending on what you're expecting the relationship to be. If the expectation is, hey we're going to fuck on a regular basis and, even though I won't admit it, I hate seeing you around other guys... then you'll be more or less satisfied if that's what you get, unless deeper feelings start developing. Or even if your expectation is, hey, we get along, we're sexually compatible and you don't drive me up a fucking wall, let's be together... that's fine too.

But expectations are probably the main thing there.

In a way, I think I've loved every girl I ever met. Every girl I've met had some thing about her, or personality quirk, or something else, that drove me a little crazy.

But the fairy-tale, hot sex and unlimited passion, never getting sick of each other, loving every moment with one another type of love that a lot of people talk about just doesn't seem like a real thing to me. I think there's intense lust, and then there's a deep caring you can have for someone you like to have sex with. If the former and the latter intersect, then great for you, you found that magic, fairy-tale type of love, but you probably hit the jackpot, and the rest of us shouldn't treat that as a realistic expectation.

I think you're a very lucky person if you can have one, lifelong partner and truly be satisfied. Assuming that's what you want, of course. I think most people go through multiple people before they ever decide to settle down. So, who cares Rhonda? On to the next one!

Don't get hung up on a guy's words. We often just say what we want you to hear... mostly because we're stupid. Men, that is.