Easy comebacks ?

[EgoDeath]

And yeah, I know I’m being a bitch. I just can’t find it in me to be sorry about that these days.

Eh, I don't think you are. I get where you're coming from. However, I also get where the OP is coming from. To be fair, most, or at least a lot of, Christians don't even know what's in their own book, and plenty of Christians who do know a little bit of their Bible are massively ignorant to many of the glaring contradictions, illogical ideas and historical inaccuracies contained within.

So, a lot of Christians don't even care about having an in-depth debate; they sort of just want to hit you with a couple of "facts," use some clever wordplay, preach some gospel and walk away feeling like they "won" the exchange. It's unfortunate that people are this petty, but humans will be humans, I suppose. The only type of people who care about getting the last word in are usually very insecure folks who feel like they're never being heard. And it sucks, but a lot of Christians are this way. Though this might have little to do with their religious views and more to do with the fact that we're all infallible humans. But it does seem that their beliefs put them on the defensive. It seems like a lot of Christians feel this need to prove to other people that Christianity has it right. Strange.

That being said, in dealing with someone like who the OP is talking about, or at least from the impression I get of them, it might be helpful to just know a couple of quick comebacks about the Bible in order to shut the other person up. Not all of us want to spend our Thanksgiving debating Christianity with Uncle Steve. And I get it, if you don't want to debate, don't have the conversation, right? Unfortunately, it isn't that simple. Some people can get really pushy and won't shut the hell up until you prove to them that you do, indeed, know a thing or two. So, in some specific cases, I can understand wanting to just brush up on a couple of one-liners to hit someone with, even if it's just to end the conversation and change the subject.

As to why the OP couldn't have googled "contradictions in the Bible," I don't know. Maybe he/she wanted specific examples that people have tested?

Couldn't tell you.

I think a lot of people would be surprised to know how few Christians in the US actually read the Bible. I think something like 35% of adults claim to read scripture once a week, with Jehova's Witnesses, Mormons and Evangelical Protestants having the highest number of people reading scripture at least once a week.

Christians who read scripture at least once a week:

JW.................................88%
Mormons........................77%
Evangelical Protestants...63%

However, even all three of these denominations combined make up a very small portion of the Christian population. And the biggest groups of Christians of the denominations listed, outside of Historically Black Protestants, say they read scripture "seldom" or "never."

So, it's safe to assume that the vast majority of Christians rarely read scripture. It sort of makes one wonder, Why should atheists read the Bible?

I mean, yes, if you're into having in-depth, fact-based debates about the intricacies of the scripture, then sure, read away. Outside of that, I don't really see a compelling reason for most atheists to read the Bible. I have read quite a bit of the Bible. And let me tell you, it's boring as fuck, with plenty of passages starting out with just naming dozens of people, this person is the son of this person, who was born of this person, and lived in this city and blah blah blah. Can you imagine if a chapter in a novel started like that? You'd throw it back on the shelf without thinking twice. It's silly.

People who try to paint the Bible as this beautifully written masterpiece of are full of shit, and often themselves. No literary agent worth their weight in dog shit would bring a book written like the Bible to a publisher. It's jumbled together nonsense that's hardly worth studying.

Can you imagine if War and Peace was written like the Bible? What a joke!

I mean, yeah, if you're going to debate about the Bible, ideally you should be reading the Bible. But to just get your uncle to shut up at thanksgiving? I don't really think it's necessary. Then again, I don't know what the context of the conversation is as the OP wasn't totally clear on that.