Updated Apostles' Creed (from Not the Nine O'clock News)
I believe in God, the Father Almighty.
Or at least it stands to reason there has to be
Some sort of Greater Power, you know -
Like electricity sort of thing.
And in Jesus Christ, who was obviously a fantastic bloke.
And it's been proved historically,
That he actually did exist around that time
Actually.
Who was conceived by the Holy Ghost and born of the Virgin Mary.
No, don't laugh - it could happen.
After all, they can do it in a test tube these days.
I mean, that proves it, doesn't it?
On the third day, he rose again from the dead,
A sort of reincarnation if you like.
Did you see that programme on BBC2?
Very convincing.
I believe in the Holy Ghost, telepathy, flying saucers, black magic,
There must be something in astrology
The Loch Ness monster, the Abominable Snowman, the Surrey panther,
Copper bracelets for rheumatism, levitation, water divining, poltergeists, and the Life Everlasting.
That is, if the bloody Russians don't invade Poland. Amen.
Boru
I believe in God, the Father Almighty.
Or at least it stands to reason there has to be
Some sort of Greater Power, you know -
Like electricity sort of thing.
And in Jesus Christ, who was obviously a fantastic bloke.
And it's been proved historically,
That he actually did exist around that time
Actually.
Who was conceived by the Holy Ghost and born of the Virgin Mary.
No, don't laugh - it could happen.
After all, they can do it in a test tube these days.
I mean, that proves it, doesn't it?
On the third day, he rose again from the dead,
A sort of reincarnation if you like.
Did you see that programme on BBC2?
Very convincing.
I believe in the Holy Ghost, telepathy, flying saucers, black magic,
There must be something in astrology
The Loch Ness monster, the Abominable Snowman, the Surrey panther,
Copper bracelets for rheumatism, levitation, water divining, poltergeists, and the Life Everlasting.
That is, if the bloody Russians don't invade Poland. Amen.
Boru
‘I can’t be having with this.’ - Esmeralda Weatherwax
