At work.
Hmmmm.....
It's a 'Slow burn'.
Some aspects of how you've described things seem 'Lacking' for want of a better descritor.
Obviously the roles of protagonists and adversaries will develop as thd words unfold.
It's just that the 'Central' character is, well, getting away with murder when the reader currently doesn't know the 'Why' of it.
Perhaps a scene before this with the character unfolding their description as they hunt closer to the quarry?
Also. If there's a definite 'Predator/Prey' dynamic happening then the 'Victim' should at least have a couple more hurdles that should need to be overcome.
Just an idea.
Cheers.
Hmmmm.....
It's a 'Slow burn'.
Some aspects of how you've described things seem 'Lacking' for want of a better descritor.
Obviously the roles of protagonists and adversaries will develop as thd words unfold.
It's just that the 'Central' character is, well, getting away with murder when the reader currently doesn't know the 'Why' of it.
Perhaps a scene before this with the character unfolding their description as they hunt closer to the quarry?
Also. If there's a definite 'Predator/Prey' dynamic happening then the 'Victim' should at least have a couple more hurdles that should need to be overcome.
Just an idea.
Cheers.
