(September 21, 2020 at 8:26 pm)inferno_ink Wrote: It’s true that I can’t predict her reaction, unfortunately I tend to be a worst case scenario type of person, hence the therapy. In the case of my daughters, if she remains devout and true to her values, she may move in with her mom in another state. And by devout, I mean she tells me the only man above me is god. I let the word “a**” slip and she questioned if I was Christian or not. So In my mind, pretty devout.
I married my wife as a Christian. We were even bible study leaders.
At some point I knew I was an atheist, and church changed for me. I had to say creeds that I didn't believe in, take wine and bread that I should not have taken, and sing songs that I didn't believe. I was taught "if you can't pray it, you shouldn't sing it".
I was lying to everyone, and it was affecting my ability to grow spiritually. I liked church! Religion was very important to me. Asking questions about morality, values, purpose is important to me. Growing as a person is important to me. Community is important to me.
So, I went the "spiritual light" route rather than declaring that I was an atheist to my wife. The word "atheist" has huge negative connotations to some Christians. We're the ones who hate God, and want to lead Christian children into damnation (or are godless communists).
Instead I said that I had checked out another church, and would like to go. It was UU. It took a while to explain what that was, but by then the shock to her was over. She even went a few times and didn't find it objectionable. It helped that she didn't believe that all non-Christians must go to hell.
But, the UU church is half-atheist, and I'm in that half. But, I don't have to use that word. I'm just Unitarian Universalist. Just some non-threatening "be nice to others" group. Not those strident "god-hating" atheists.
