Phobias

[Eilonnwy]

I have arachnophobia, which is fear of spiders. I've had it as long as I can remember. The fear can be very debilitating for me. If I see spider somewhere that area becomes tainted and I can't go near it for as long as I can avoid the area. My fear is so severe that I can't even kill a spider if I see one unless there's no other option and I have to get rid of it somehow. If I do have to kill a spider it takes me a long time to work up the courage and I tend to hyperventilate afterward. I like to kill them with vacuums if I must, because with the long hose I can keep my distance. My fear also extends to centipedes and essentially any bug with more than 8 legs or very creepy legs. I can tolerate ants, and beetles, or most any other insect except the mosquito eaters because they look like flying spiders. Over the years my phobia has calmed down, but it still affects me in a way that it is definitely a phobia and not just dislike of bugs.

It's the absolute worst when you have a fear reaction to something when you KNOW it's an overreaction, you KNOW it's all in your head, you KNOW the spider won't kill you (There aren't any dangerous ones in Boston as far as I know) and you still can't do anything about it because my body just reacts.

I once stepped on a millipede with my bare feet in the kitchen and began screaming and crying when I realized that my neighbors called to see if I was okay.

Phobias suck.