If you take the time to look into cults, you will see how they focus on vulnerable people. I have a crazy fascination with cults and it's a common theme that many people who buy into a cult leader are lacking something, or they think they are lacking something. It's like they have a vacant spot within themselves and the teachings of a charismatic leader seems to fill the void. Often there's been some tragedy or loss that leads these people to seek answers to emotions they can't seem to process.
Listening to the stories of people who "woke up" and left a cult you often hear that they were floundering and thought the cult filled a need for them. Later they realize that they fell prey to a group that knew what to say.
For a child being indoctrinated in a strict religious sect, those teachings are deeply etched and not easily cast aside.
I get the feeling you (Five) are too hard on yourself and that you expect to be able to turn deeply ingrained thoughts on and off like a light switch. It really doesn't work that way. You are learning about yourself and about the world outside of the religion you were raised in and that may entail two steps forward and one step back from time to time.
It's almost a grieving process to let go of something that was such a big part of your life...even if that thing was bad or untrue.
Listening to the stories of people who "woke up" and left a cult you often hear that they were floundering and thought the cult filled a need for them. Later they realize that they fell prey to a group that knew what to say.
For a child being indoctrinated in a strict religious sect, those teachings are deeply etched and not easily cast aside.
I get the feeling you (Five) are too hard on yourself and that you expect to be able to turn deeply ingrained thoughts on and off like a light switch. It really doesn't work that way. You are learning about yourself and about the world outside of the religion you were raised in and that may entail two steps forward and one step back from time to time.
It's almost a grieving process to let go of something that was such a big part of your life...even if that thing was bad or untrue.
I'm your huckleberry.
