RE: Matthew's attempt to counter the rumor that the disciples stole the body
December 26, 2011 at 1:08 pm
(This post was last modified: December 26, 2011 at 2:24 pm by Minimalist.)
Holy shit. I'm going to agree with Mehmet. 
It's fairly easy to see how the whole 'there-were-guards-on-the-tomb' shit developed.
With all the xtian special pleading that goes on let's remember what we know of crucifixion as employed by the Romans. It was a punishment for rebels and/or slaves. Nothing in the so-called gospels indicates that jesus was either. People who were crucified were sometimes shown "mercy" by having their legs broken so death would be hastened but the whole point of the punishment was to serve as a grisly warning. It was a giant billboard which said "Don't-Fuck-With-Us-or-This-Could-Be-You." If you were hung up on a cross you stayed there until your body rotted off and then what was left was thrown in a garbage dump. Taking the body down for "burial" would have been seen as self-defeating by the Romans. It would have contradicted the whole fucking point of crucifying someone in the first place.
Which brings us to how the story develops. So we have ole jesus hanging up on a cross - supposedly dead and "Joseph of Aramathea" (A- a place which no one can locate and B- a naming convention which defies local usage at the time) going to Pilate and asking for the body for proper burial. Pilate is surprised that jc is dead so soon...must have thought that jesus was just a pussy! Anyway they check it out and let "Joseph" take the body. Frankly, this seems more like a plot device as used on stage. Even in Shakespearean times there were no "curtains" on the stage. When a Shakespearean character dies there is always a group of people to cart the body off the stage so that the spectators don't have to sit there and watch the supposedly "dead" victim get up and walk off before the next scene.
So jesus has been carted away ( exit stage right ) but in "Mark" there are no guards...nor in "Luke" that little wrinkle is not introduced into the story until "Matthew." Is it really so hard to imagine that criticisms of the first two gospels arose about how jesus' followers stole the body so that a later incarnation of the story suddenly has the Vth Legion guarding a fucking tomb?
It's fairly easy to see how the whole 'there-were-guards-on-the-tomb' shit developed.
With all the xtian special pleading that goes on let's remember what we know of crucifixion as employed by the Romans. It was a punishment for rebels and/or slaves. Nothing in the so-called gospels indicates that jesus was either. People who were crucified were sometimes shown "mercy" by having their legs broken so death would be hastened but the whole point of the punishment was to serve as a grisly warning. It was a giant billboard which said "Don't-Fuck-With-Us-or-This-Could-Be-You." If you were hung up on a cross you stayed there until your body rotted off and then what was left was thrown in a garbage dump. Taking the body down for "burial" would have been seen as self-defeating by the Romans. It would have contradicted the whole fucking point of crucifying someone in the first place.
Which brings us to how the story develops. So we have ole jesus hanging up on a cross - supposedly dead and "Joseph of Aramathea" (A- a place which no one can locate and B- a naming convention which defies local usage at the time) going to Pilate and asking for the body for proper burial. Pilate is surprised that jc is dead so soon...must have thought that jesus was just a pussy! Anyway they check it out and let "Joseph" take the body. Frankly, this seems more like a plot device as used on stage. Even in Shakespearean times there were no "curtains" on the stage. When a Shakespearean character dies there is always a group of people to cart the body off the stage so that the spectators don't have to sit there and watch the supposedly "dead" victim get up and walk off before the next scene.
So jesus has been carted away ( exit stage right ) but in "Mark" there are no guards...nor in "Luke" that little wrinkle is not introduced into the story until "Matthew." Is it really so hard to imagine that criticisms of the first two gospels arose about how jesus' followers stole the body so that a later incarnation of the story suddenly has the Vth Legion guarding a fucking tomb?
