The Last Movie You Watched

[Rev. Rye]

This week in the Deep Hurting Project: Drive Hard, a movie that tries to remake Collateral, but as a buddy movie. If you don't see the problem here, don't worry, you will. 

• A school for racing, I'm not sure how much of a thing this is.
  
• You know, you'd think that somebody'd have told him that he doesn't need a new driver's license if he's just visiting another country. Even if it is Australia.
  
• And, come to think of it, why the fuck is this set in Australia if you're just going to make the leads Yanks anyway? Was Brian Trenchard-Smith feeling homesick?
  
• You know, if you're in this situation, the thing to do is not just shove the money in the robber's face and tell him to go, but to wait until he has to leave the car, drive away, and then call the cops once you're certain he's not going to catch up with you. Yes, I actually had to ask a lawyer about this. I wasn't in this situation, I just saw a story about an Uber driver who accidentally ended up an accessory to a robbery.
  
• So this bank they just robbed turned out to be corrupt as fuck. How morally convenient.
  
• Why does this Federal Investigator woman act like she's drunk?
  
• Normally, I love this bleach bypass cinematography, but in this case, it just makes John Cusack look like he's dying of cancer.
  
  
  Also, a major problem with the comedy: it's just not funny.
• So, they know the getaway car was stolen from a driving instructor's car. They know they took the driving instructor with him. So, is there a reason they're not assuming he might be a hostage? 
  
• They're just taking time out of their crime spree to repeatedly call the cops and explain that he's a hostage?
  
• I'm sure Thomas Jane's daughter's going to grow up and be a proud hybristophile. 
  
• You don't trust a living soul, do you? Well, he's a criminal futigive whose face is plastered all over the news and is in the middle of a major crime spree. The fuck do you think?
  
• Davos is seceding from Earth? You know, that's about the level of batshit I expect from the right-wingers who think the WEF is actually a lot more effectual than it actually is.
  
  
  Next week, I'm thinking Bigfoot vs D.B. Cooper.