That J.D. Vance Thread

[Thumpalumpacus]

He's a former jarhead. Counting to 24 is a big ask.

Eh. Once a Marine, always a Marine. A cautionary tale of being in the Navy and telling jokes about Marines in a bar:
I told this joke, "In the early days of the space program, a chimp was trained to operate systems on the space capsule. It was during the Cold War, and NASA, fearing that the chimp might fall into Russian hands if the capsule went off course during re-entry, decided that it needed some protection. So, a Marine was detailed to provide protection, complete with a .45 auto side-arm. <Marines are grinning> During countdown, launch and assent, the chimp is pushing buttons, turning knobs and stepping on pedals. Every once in awhile, the chimp reaches into a pocket in its overalls, pulls out a small card, and stuffs it back in. Once they are in orbit, things are getting dull, and the Marine gets curious about what the card says. He reaches over and pulls the card out. It says, 'Feed the Marine at 5:00'" The Marines are no longer grinning. I was in top shape in those days and could run like a deer, even while laughing. 

I used to tease my step=dad, a Marine veteran of Vietnam. I came back from MEPS and he was giving me shit about joining the "Chair Force". So -- spur of the moment -- I told him I found out why they call Marines "jarheads".

"Why's that, Darrell?"
"Well, Bob, we're standing in line for medical assessment, who's got flat feet and shit."
"Yeah ..."
"And so there was an orderly pulling Marines out of the line at about the third or fourth checkpoint. I got curious and looked into the room those recruits went into."
Bob pours another brandy. "Yeah, right."
"And so I see these docs cutting a head open and pulling out a brain. They pop it into a mason jar and tell the recruit he can have it back in four years." Gazing at him over my glass of brandy, "But it seems that some of y'all never got 'em back."

I didn't have to run away, Bob was a great guy with much humor, and I dearly miss him.