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(March 19, 2025 at 5:05 pm)PhCritique Wrote: ...authentic friendships ought to be fair solutions (for everyone)....
Did you ever hear of the book Bowling Alone? It described, quite a while ago, how much community life has been degraded. People used to have more opportunity for social life with neighbors and friends -- and not like intimate best-friend-for-life type friends but just people you hang out with a couple of times a month.
But this book was written before the Internet took over everything, and the smartphone became the center of everybody's attention. It seems clear to me that the new tech is driving alienation and loneliness. Just because you can post on a social site doesn't mean that anyone there cares about you.
And the algorithms are designed to separate us. The sites keep track of what you like, and feed you ever more of the same, which puts us in siloes. Pretty soon we're getting entirely different news sources and entirely different views of the world. And when we encounter someone on line with such a different view of things, it isn't live-and-let-live, it's you evil fucker how could you vote for the downfall of all civilization?!!>!!??
I remember when I was a kid my family would go over to some other family's house once a week or so, and we kids would play with the other kids' toys, and the adults would just sit in the living room and chat. My parents were extremely left-wing -- in college my dad was about as radical as you can get without actually throwing a bomb -- but we lived in a small midwestern town and, looking back, I realize that probably nearly everybody else in town was Republican and conservative Christian. It seems strange today, but it was impolite to talk religion or politics. And of course religion hadn't yet been weaponized as a means of driving apart the political parties.
So yes, I think you're right that loneliness and alienation are a serious problem, probably more than before. And it may be that men are more at risk, because the old ways that men socialized -- with golfing buddies, etc. -- are being supplanted by newer technological and economic habits.
Your response is appreciated. I'm surprised Bowling Alone never hit my radar. I will definitely check it out.
My family had conservative views but we weren't necessarily republican. Three generations in one household. A hard working and Army veteran grandfather belonging to "the fruit" and freemasonry partnered with a hard working and open minded grand mother. We did everything together even as we moved apart. Challenging politics was impolite to us as well. "If it's negative, keep it to yourself" was our lingo.
I don't argue that men are more at risk. The risk goes up for each generation especially if they're lacking in education.
