Artificially Interpreted

[Nanny]

I asked an AI engine to describe the little mermaid with scouse slang.

So there's this lass, right, proper sound but a bit daft — name's Ariel. She's a ginger mermaid bird, lives under the sea with her da — big king fella, beard like Neptune, proper boss. But she’s sick of all that underwater malarkey, wants legs so she can have a mooch up top with the humans, like. Bit mad, that.

Anyway, she clocks this fit lad on a boat — Prince Eric, big dreamy eyes and all that — and she's like “I’m havin’ him, la.” So what does she do? Goes off to this shady octopus witch bird, Ursula, proper gobshite, dodgy as owt. Ariel gives up her voice — like, literally can’t chat — just to get a pair of legs. All that graft for a fella she’s barely even met. Soft as anything.

So now she's leggin' it round the human world, floppin' about like Bambi on ice, can’t talk, tryin’ to neck on with the prince before the curse kicks in. Meanwhile, that Ursula is doin’ her in from the sidelines, shapeshiftin’ and schemin’. But don’t worry, it all kicks off in the end — bit of a scrap, sea magic flyin' everywhere — and Ariel ends up with the prince. Happy days!