My somewhat deconversion

[FallentoReason]

Here is the thing, my friend. I come from a background of fairly devout methodism, and I, too, endured a period of "crisis of faith," brought on by reason stacking up against faith. But if you are 87.6% convinced it is false, does this not mean that the supposed word of god is not nearly as convincing as it should be? If the word of god were worthy of worship, you would feel no doubt. If it were worthy of worship, its defense would be victorious all the time, especially against reason, because it is supposed to be the "true word," is it not? If it's the true word...then why is it false, and proven so, so often? And why, if it were truth, did it and its propagators feel the need to mislead you and lie to you so much? How can you have faith at all in anything that lies to you, not once, not twice, but a hundred times without remorse?

You're scared right now because if you surrender that last 12.4%, that means you will have to turn on the light. You're in a dark room, and you have been convinced your entire life that the room is full of monsters but if you leave the light off, they will never harm you. Your curiosity compels you, your desire to know the truth demands you to flick on that light, to see for yourself whether or not there are monsters in the room. And not only that but you want to see what the room itself looks like. But that last 12.4% whispers that if you turn on the light, you're going to be devoured by the monsters and torn to pieces.

Take it from someone who flipped on the light; it's a beautiful room.