Nothing wrong with wanting a girlfriend per se,but -------------------------------
If the desire becomes a pervasive obsession, it can colour your whole life in a self destructive way; a person may see themselves 'less than' without a partner. There is a vast difference between a desire and a need. Nobody NEEDS a girlfriend/boyfriend to be 'complete'. Sadly,in our culture,a great many people of both sexes seem to define themselves by their relationships.
I was 31 when I got married. Between the ages of 20 and 29,I had about a dozen girlfriends,and three serious relationships. (even engaged once) my marriage ended in 1991. Since then I have had ONE girlfriend.Currently not looking.
What I actually did to get a girlfriend,and this always worked for me: I call it 'the Zen approach' IE I dropped the matter, stopped thinking and worrying about it, ,but still had an active social life.Someone always turned up when least expected.
HOW does this work? Not sure,but I have a theory; I think the kind of girls in whom I have always been interested can spot 'the try hard',the needy and the desperate at 50 paces.. If I'm relaxed,not anxious, a casual social meeting stays that way. She sees more of me,and less of my neuroses,if that makes sense.
If the desire becomes a pervasive obsession, it can colour your whole life in a self destructive way; a person may see themselves 'less than' without a partner. There is a vast difference between a desire and a need. Nobody NEEDS a girlfriend/boyfriend to be 'complete'. Sadly,in our culture,a great many people of both sexes seem to define themselves by their relationships.
I was 31 when I got married. Between the ages of 20 and 29,I had about a dozen girlfriends,and three serious relationships. (even engaged once) my marriage ended in 1991. Since then I have had ONE girlfriend.Currently not looking.
What I actually did to get a girlfriend,and this always worked for me: I call it 'the Zen approach' IE I dropped the matter, stopped thinking and worrying about it, ,but still had an active social life.Someone always turned up when least expected.
HOW does this work? Not sure,but I have a theory; I think the kind of girls in whom I have always been interested can spot 'the try hard',the needy and the desperate at 50 paces.. If I'm relaxed,not anxious, a casual social meeting stays that way. She sees more of me,and less of my neuroses,if that makes sense.
