Wow, Rayaan. I had no idea. Thank you for sharing that and I hope you stay under control for the rest of your life.
When you describe having to sit there or pace for a long time until it goes away, that's what I relate to. It also escalates into anxiety attacks for me. If I had a good old compulsion, I would probably do that instead of panicking. My thoughts are different than yours. I don't really talk about most of them, as I don't consider them as relatable to my personality. I don't think they come from outside of my mind or anything. I just think they are obtrusive and disturbing for the sake of being disturbing and therefore not part of my natural thought process or decision making process. Also, sometimes they are really fucked up and I don't want to share that with anyone.
When you describe having to sit there or pace for a long time until it goes away, that's what I relate to. It also escalates into anxiety attacks for me. If I had a good old compulsion, I would probably do that instead of panicking. My thoughts are different than yours. I don't really talk about most of them, as I don't consider them as relatable to my personality. I don't think they come from outside of my mind or anything. I just think they are obtrusive and disturbing for the sake of being disturbing and therefore not part of my natural thought process or decision making process. Also, sometimes they are really fucked up and I don't want to share that with anyone.
