I had alcohol for the first time in my life.

[Violet]

It's pretty damn awesome, if also completely gag inducing. I spent most of the night asking my family questions I'd never even thought to ask of them before, hearing awesome and sad and horrible and upsetting and hilarious stories told by various people, hugging people both when I became tipsy and with my standard wiggle hug that nearly toppled them over, and feeling warmer than every other person there (we took a short dip in the inlet, I barely registered the same cold that was making them all bitch).

Damn but I'm an adorable drunk. I actually can't wait to do that again, the drinking is totally optional on my part, but I want to be able to have that kind of emotional connection with my family.

So I got a little dirty getting up the bluff, and a little more dirty getting down, and I took a full body dip in the inlet. So fucking what? I had a blast, and I realize that if I simply do not register the dirt and the challenge of the climb, and just do it... I won't even notice that shit

I'm officially done caring about so much shit... sure, I harbor a few feelings of insecurity, of severe disappointment, of embarrassment, of resentment, and other such shit... but this was an amazing night for me, and most of those feelings have faded far away.

I intend to keep it that way. Stay fuzzy, yall.