Let your hair down, what bone headed things have you done?

[Reforged]

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So I went to a place to get a memory implant of a trip to Mars. Funny thing was I'd already had a memory implant so I went spazmatron 3000. Anyway, after killing my friend and two other guys with my newly developed super spy skills I went home to my wife, told her the whole thing and then she tried to kill me. At first I thought she was just trying something kinky but when I realised she was being serious I went Mike Tyson on her ass... by which I mean I hit her as opposed to pushing my mother down a set of stairs. After an escape from Michael Ironside and an IT guy I got given this suitcase that told me who I was is a lie and I had to remove a rather large glowing sphere from my nose which for some reason did not tear my face apart when I ripped it out.

Long story made short; I went to mars, shot a psychiatrist, missed an opportunity to motorboat a chick with three breasts, talked to a guys stomach, drilled a taxi driver, ripped Michaels arms off, got turned into a human squeezy doll, gave Mars oxygen and then briefly realized the psychiatrist might of been right about all of it being a memory implant induced hallucination, making the entire incident pointless had anyone been watching for entertainment purposes, before having the idea shrugged off by the woman I chose during the implant process. :-)

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Wait, wasn't that whole experience completely unreal and really just the result of a scizoid embolism? I read in the paper that they sent a guy in to talk you down and you killed his dream manifestation, therefore eliminating the possibility of retrieval. I heard that you still think you are a super spy but in reality they have you strapped to a bed in a hospital and you froth at the mouth all day long.

I think I might have to slap you right in your penis.