Quiet

[Angrboda]

I don't know what relevance this has, but context (set and setting) and other environmental factors seem relevant. I have strong social skills, but I'm basically rather shy and introverted. I can socialize like an extrovert, but what's going on inside, I suspect is radically different. In pure, unstructured social situations, like a party, or an informal get together, I feel like I'm being asked to do a dance which I don't know the steps to. I literally feel confusion about what I am supposed to be doing. (And dating is out of the question. The idea of courting someone's friendship, from acquaintance to familiar, leaves me stammeringly terrified.) This past year I have joined a social networking site that helps people organize get togethers based on common interests. If the get together is purely social, I'm greeted by my introversion and social anxiety. But if the get together is for the purpose of discussing ideas or a book, my introversion drops completely, and I forget myself, engaged in the ideas and the debate or discussion. (Indeed, I've noticed lately that I have a tendency to be aggressive and combative in such situations, somewhat to the detriment of the shared aim. I need to work on that; I'm so busy arguing, that I tend to lose that self/consciousness which helps make the didactic experience useful and satisfying for all.)

Anyway, I tend not to read things unless driven by one of my groups. However, I've in the past been skeptical of books about the value of introversion, because, quite simply, a lot of those kind of books out there are just pure crap. Trait psychology is tricky enough business without authors whose books are 99% pseudoscience. Perhaps this book is different. Your description leaves me with some optimism that it might be. However, prior experience with the emptiness of most such books leaves me more than skeptical; I'm downright cynical about its prospects.