I think your communication partner is suffering from QUphobia. QUphobia is the fear of meanings of words that contain two Qs and two Us. I digress.
The appearance of hypocrisy 'must' be true in at least one instance for tu quoque. The fallacy exists when the hypocrisy is used as a means of refuting the proposition. Example:
Me: Smoking has been proven to have adverse affects on health.
Them: Do you smoke?
Me: Yes
Them: Then smoking isn't bad for you.
This is an example of the tu quoque fallacy.
The appearance of hypocrisy 'must' be true in at least one instance for tu quoque. The fallacy exists when the hypocrisy is used as a means of refuting the proposition. Example:
Me: Smoking has been proven to have adverse affects on health.
Them: Do you smoke?
Me: Yes
Them: Then smoking isn't bad for you.
This is an example of the tu quoque fallacy.