Hi, I'm a Christian

[EscapingDelusion]

Hi, Greneknight. I'm another newbie here. I've found the place is pretty welcoming and friendly so far, so I'm hoping you will, too (and that it will continue to be friendly and welcoming after everyone here realizes I'm completely insane).

The usual question that I get asked is why I am a Christian. It's obvious. I was brought up a Christian and I've been an altar boy since I was 5. Naturally I would be a Christian. If I had been born in Saudi, I'd be a Muslim altar boy today. Anyway, this simple truthful answer offended many Christians in Christian Forums. I can't understand why it should offend anyone. They are also furious with me because I said there was no evidence or logical argument for religion and faith is totally blind. I was surprised by their anger and asked them what evidence they had. They became even angrier!!! I've never offended so many people in so short a space of time as I did in CF. I'm glad I don't live in the US if the Christians there are so weird.

I love those answers you gave them! I've told a lot of people over the years that I'm far less concerned with exactly what a person believes as much as why they believe it. I've talked to Christians who will chalk up evidence of their faith to some goofy coincidence that they're going to blame on divine intervention or something. I've talked to ones who seem to fall for Pascal's wager. I've fallen for others who, after hearing their description, don't even realize they've fallen for the same brainwashing techniques used by doomsday cults.. So to hear someone who has actually been able to ask themselves those hard questions and come up with honest and intelligent answers is extremely refreshing.

And, honestly, I've seen the damage fundamentalists can do. It's easy to just make fun of them and hate them, but I don't know if I have that luxury. See, my partner, who I love very much, well, he's a trans man and he comes from a fundamentalist Mormon family. He's not out to them yet and it hurts him, but he's terrified that when he tells the, his family will abandon him. As much as it frustrates me to see him go through that kind of pain, he still loves his family and I can't demonize them for that. I guess it's good in that it gives me a little balance in my perspective of them and it's good to note that they aren't as extreme as they could be (they point out the extreme branches of the Mormons like the FLDS church s examples of extremism that they don't subscribe to and that they think are crazy). It's kinda interesting that most fundamentalists, and not just religious fundamentalists either, can always point to another fundamentalist and say "I might be extreme, but they're even worse!" Wonder what the people at the end of that chain say?

I too fell for Pascal's wager for a while after I lost my faith. I kept calling myself a Christian even though I knew I didn't believe so that I wouldn't go to hell. It took me a while to realize that I could not convince myself to believe and that all I was doing was faking it. If there was a god, I couldn't see how this would impress him. In my conversations with fundamentalists now, that always seems to be the point that they can't understand. I can't believe. It's not that I didn't want to (I most certainly am glad and content that I do not now). But there was no way I could have talked myself into belief; just into faking it. Good luck to your partner, TaraJo!

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...and Welcome, greneknight!

I definitely understand where you are coming from in still believing even though you know there's no evidence. It is scary as hell to just stop believing in something that you've always believed in. You feel empty and alone when you finally accept that you're not a Christian. Depending on how big a part of your life your faith is (mine was an enormous part of mine), I recommend this: First, you are doing the right thing by joining a forum to vent and get encouragement. I've only been here a few days, but this is a wonderful group of folks. Second, find a nice, healthy hobby. Reading, studying, art, music, philanthropy, etc. can all fill that void left by giving up your faith. All are far more rewarding as well! I find that the most depressed people are those who simply stop believing without taking that same energy that their minds put into belief and putting it into something else constructive. At the end of the day, I am positive that a smart young man like yourself will find yourself happy, satisfied, and loving life. It's a magical world...