My Defense of Christianity.

[Thor]

I am pretty sure, like 100% that Jesus was a real guy. It's in my freaking history textbook,

First of all, there is zero evidence that "Jesus" was a real person. There is nothing written about him from any contemporary historian. There is no mention of him in any contemporary records or documents (and the Romans kept good records). "Jesus" left no physical evidence at all. There are no writings from him. We don't even know what he looked like.

But let's put all that aside and say that "Jesus" was a real person.

This still does nothing to support the fables of walking on water, healing the sick, raising the dead, being born of a virgin, feeding thousands of people with a basket of fish, being the son of god, or rising up from the dead and ascending to heaven.