You should try to muster up the courage and patience to face whatever you deep down believe is true.
Personally, I deeply believe in God, objective morality, free-will, and find this all to be a foundation of my human experience, and so rooted in me that I can't disbelieve in any of these 3 no matter how much I try.
I also don't think objective morality is possible without God.
I however don't believe in any religion.
I think religion is not needed for spirituality or belief in God.
Perhaps you are searching spirituality and for God in the wrong places which will at the end only distance yourself from both.
Personally, I deeply believe in God, objective morality, free-will, and find this all to be a foundation of my human experience, and so rooted in me that I can't disbelieve in any of these 3 no matter how much I try.
I also don't think objective morality is possible without God.
I however don't believe in any religion.
I think religion is not needed for spirituality or belief in God.
Perhaps you are searching spirituality and for God in the wrong places which will at the end only distance yourself from both.