(September 25, 2012 at 9:29 pm)teaearlgreyhot Wrote: Hey, I may not know a thing about greek and hebrew, but I have a knack for using 200 year old public domain lexicons to make verses say what I want to correct the stupidity of professional translators.
Here's what many famous verses really say:
John 3:16
Quote:For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.
Wait, what? God "loves" the world? Not in my book! See, the word "agapaō" used here really means "to entertain." PROOF: http://www.blueletterbible.org/lang/lexi...=G25&t=KJV
It should really readQuote:For God to entertain the world, he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.
See, God really sent Jesus to die for our entertainment! Our God is a fun God!
Genesis 1:1
Quote:In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth.
Did God really create everything? My book says otherwise. The word translated here for "God," "'elohiym" really means "goddess"! PROOF: http://www.blueletterbible.org/lang/lexi...H430&t=KJV
It should read:Quote:In the beginning the goddess created the heaven and the earth.
The bible isn't so male-chauvinistic after all! Our God is a sexy God!
Matthew 1:21
Quote:And she shall bring forth a son, and thou shalt call his name JESUS: for he shall save his people from their sins.
Did she really bring forth a son? Not in my book! The phrase "bring forth" is in the greek "tiktō" really means "the earth bringing forth its fruits"! PROOF: http://www.blueletterbible.org/lang/lexi...5088&t=KJV
The verse should read:Quote:And she shall cause the earth to bring forth fruit, and thou shalt call the fruit JESUS: for it shall save the people from their sins.
Wow! That's some fruit! The best theories suggest that Jesus was a fig. This also means that there's nothing cannibalistic about the Lord's supper anymore.
Well, that's all for today! Remember kids, ♫the bible wasn't written in english!♫
This is great! ♫the bible wasn't written in english!♫
