What do you do when life gets you down

[Angrboda]

I check out. Disconnect. Isolate. Withdraw into myself, and lose myself in the process.

I've been struggling particularly hard for the last year since becoming physically disabled, as the healthy avenues I had for remaining connected with the world are things I cannot currently do.

On the bright side, I've been medication-free for 11 months, other than very occasional alprazolam. My diagnosis is bipolar disorder, PTSD, dissociative disorder - a trifecta, what do I win? It's interesting how diagnoses of mental disorder evolve as the layers are peeled away.

It's frustrating as hell. I was voluntarily hospitalized in April-May of 2011, and exited with a new appreciation for life and was becoming much more active and feeling great about myself.

Five months down the road I suffered a potentially fatal illness that has left me crippled. (I hate that word, but there is no other way to effectively express it.) Although I shared a lot about my ordeal here as it unfolded, I haven't said much publicly about the aftermath. Progress derailed, and I'm left feeling like I'm starting from scratch again.

I needed to vent a bit. Thanks to the OP for starting this thread.

I am sorry to hear what life has done to you. Despite all that, you have always struck me as kind, warm, and deeply wise. It apparently didn't take it all.

I can't embed this, so I'll just link it. For you: