Proving God Existence

[Mystic]

Well, here is the thing with me. I am convinced a higher power exists (not certain though but feel close to certain) but I don't believe it's worthy of worship and believe the opposite, that it's not. The reason being not that it's not ultimate in it's attributes, but that it didn't earn it's character and praise and that earned praise is greater then unearned praise.

I don't really know what the makes me. Sort of something in between a deist and an atheist I think.

Why?

I don't know it just seems that way to me. That if it always what it was, and didn't earn it's character, it cannot be said to be greater then what had to earn it's value and character.

Perhaps this is indoctrination from Islam where good humans were said to be greater then Angels because they had to overcome lust and adversity, while Angels were simply good and immune to disobedience.