The Bible-Boooooring

[Ryantology]

I am telling you you are mistaken as someone who was specially commissioned by God by signs and miracles,

revealing to me that I have a specific ministry to a group of people and based on the knowledge of the scriptures that God has supernaturally revealed to me,

I swear before God that I am not lying and that I am in good psychological health

and my perception of the absolute certainty and clarity with which I have this knowledge could not possibly be colored by anything else besides the personal commission of God to share the revelations that I have received.

You can make fun of that all you want, but it won't change the fact that I know it is true and I know you are guessing about something that you don't understand.

If you were honest, you would take my testimony seriously as you have no reason and no evidence that I am lying, but I don't think you are honest at heart, I think you would rather mock religion than get to the truth and I don't think you care whether what I am saying is true.

But if you are honest, you will investigate it on its own terms. If you don't care, then you won't know.

Seriously, my neighbor just warned me that she'd call the cops if I didn't stop laughing so hard. Is that your master plan!??