The deconversion process is usually a long and sometimes difficult one, depending on how much your social and family life is intertwined in your former religious affiliation. It sounds as if your background is a mild one so you may have an easier time than some.
It's usually much like what you described of your own experience. You have nagging doubts and unanswered questions. Then you pick up some apologetics that bolsters your crumbling faith (the real audience for Stobel, Craig, McDowell, et. al. are not the unbelievers that need convincing but the ones who are starting to doubt). Then your faith is somewhat restored for a time. Then more doubts creep in. Etc. The process is usually so gradual that many ex-Christians can't even say when they officially became atheists.
The fear of Hell can be an issue for the more heavily indoctrinated, even when the former believer rationally knows the concept is absurd. Fears drummed into your head are hard to get rid of, no matter how silly they may be. Just think about it as logically as you can. Why would a just and supposedly loving god send people to eternal torment for the only crime of existing and not believing ridiculous things without evidence? And what's the point of creating this who universe if it's just a way-station to eternity, especially where the overwhelming majority are all going to Hell? And so on...
Morality, when you think about it logically, is a function of how we treat our fellow human beings. You'll find it actually gets easier to think about when you discard all the garbage of victimless crimes like blasphemy, idolatry and apostasy. The moral landscape actually becomes simpler and easier to understand when you get rid of the angry bearded guy in the sky.
Hope this helps.
It's usually much like what you described of your own experience. You have nagging doubts and unanswered questions. Then you pick up some apologetics that bolsters your crumbling faith (the real audience for Stobel, Craig, McDowell, et. al. are not the unbelievers that need convincing but the ones who are starting to doubt). Then your faith is somewhat restored for a time. Then more doubts creep in. Etc. The process is usually so gradual that many ex-Christians can't even say when they officially became atheists.
The fear of Hell can be an issue for the more heavily indoctrinated, even when the former believer rationally knows the concept is absurd. Fears drummed into your head are hard to get rid of, no matter how silly they may be. Just think about it as logically as you can. Why would a just and supposedly loving god send people to eternal torment for the only crime of existing and not believing ridiculous things without evidence? And what's the point of creating this who universe if it's just a way-station to eternity, especially where the overwhelming majority are all going to Hell? And so on...
Morality, when you think about it logically, is a function of how we treat our fellow human beings. You'll find it actually gets easier to think about when you discard all the garbage of victimless crimes like blasphemy, idolatry and apostasy. The moral landscape actually becomes simpler and easier to understand when you get rid of the angry bearded guy in the sky.
Hope this helps.
Atheist Forums Hall of Shame:
"The trinity can be equated to having your cake and eating it too."
... -Lucent, trying to defend the Trinity concept
"(Yahweh's) actions are good because (Yahweh) is the ultimate standard of goodness. That’s not begging the question"
... -Statler Waldorf, Christian apologist
"The trinity can be equated to having your cake and eating it too."
... -Lucent, trying to defend the Trinity concept
"(Yahweh's) actions are good because (Yahweh) is the ultimate standard of goodness. That’s not begging the question"
... -Statler Waldorf, Christian apologist
