If Not Hell then what?

[The Grand Nudger]

Every man knows his limits.

You think so, I disagree, I think that by and large people are very poor appraisers of their own abilities. Most of us are capable of doing something we don't imagine ourselves to be capable of, and most of us imagine ourselves to be much more capable than we are in some area. To be honest, by all available indicators, the things that we are capable of (and the things that we are not) are all pretty uniform, falling just one or two deviations from any norm. This is to be expected, we're all very, very similar.

I was ready for a divorce, because at that point we had lost support of everyone in her family and mine. Both her mom and dad told me we love her but will not do anything else for her. They were ready to let her die if that's what was needed. It cost me my relationship with my father as well as he coud not understand how a non drug user could be with someone who used drugs, as a result he and I did not speak for 8 years. 4 years into that 8 of being completely isolated from friends and family I was past done. My commitment to God, and to my vow to her before Him was the only thing we had left. i know this because we had 2 more years of hardship to endure.

Ready but not willing, I mean honestly - and this all sounds very rough so I don;t want you to think I'm devaluing your experience here- you've just described to me how -your- determination to keep a promise -you- made became the single most important factor when the impetus for making that promise had faded to nil. People do this all the time, and it definitely isn't limited to promises made to any god. I know a bunch of guys from rehab that made promises to their kids or themselves (and yes, some to god) that they would stick with it - and even though most of them, at some point in the therapy felt that they simply couldn't take another step - couldn't even clench their fist another time....that promise kept them going. They wanted to hold their daughters hand, or stand up without assistance. The paradoxical feeling of being spent but at the same time clinging to a singular focal point to give you he oomph to go one more day isn;t lost on me and I;ve been there myself......but how..in all of this, you can imagine that the driving force isn't you - that you aren't expressing a well known and well understood sort of drive and determination.....that's beyond me.

During that peroid all that was left in me was a since of duty and a commitment I made to God. For if we Love the Lord as He commands (With all of our Heart, Mind, Spirit, and strength) this love filters back when things like a love of a spouce is not able to sustain a relationship when one of you is not able keep up your end of the relationship.

-Your- duty, -your- sense of commitment. More of the same from the above. See how you can't tell the story without constant reference to yourself? God is just a qualifier, an added word. If you left it out, you'd still be able to recount the events of the tale. Conveniently, many people do tell this tale, with other gods as the added word, or none at all.

What you do not seem to understand that if both of you are focoused on God (something greater than the sum of the parts of your relationship) Then you have the ablity to tap into a far deeper capasity to love than what you are able to offer just on your own..

Oh ffs, couldn't help yourself? Maybe you need to create a focal point for conversations when the going gets rough and you start to feel the urge to make idiotic statements. It's exceedingly unlikely that you have any capacity to love in any deeper or more meaningful way than myself (and judging from your many many posts here is fairly obvious that even though our relative capacity for love is in all likelihood identical - you've found a way to greatly reduce your expression thereof). In addition to it being exceedingly unlikely that this is even remotely true, if it were, then the source would not be some magic fucking well............