Being religious will never make one happy, practicing rituals is nothing more than games with the word spiritual tacked to it. If one does not learn to live in a relationship with God, one will always be disappointed in their spiritual life and probably depressed also. When the Holy Spirit is working with someone He is offering a chance to know God through Christ, when one ignores this chance it can be a very miserable time in one's life, the Holy Spirit is offering love that surpasses understanding, my suggestion is to try it if it's not for you you can always walk away.
God loves those who believe and those who do not and the same goes for me, you have no choice in this matter. That puts the matter of total free will to rest.
