Without resorting to trying to fit a framework, I can do a quick breakdown of the 'stages' as I recall them.
1. Complacency.
God was just 'there'...no questions to the contrary. (Age-through about 7).
2. Confusion.
I was seven, maybe eight, when the sudden notion that god was eternal became absurd. My mother suggested i talk to our pastor about it. His response, I remember clearly!, was to cut my mom a look, compose his thoughts, and say 'he's eternal because he's god'. Circular logic at it's best. This led to-
3. Complacency, Part 2
. I spent my early years singing songs and praying to god like I was taught, but now things were different. It seemed now to be a 'quaint' habit, and one not to dwell on. So I didn't.
4. Fear.
. My parents done and went born again when I was 14. Soon the family library was filled with godidit self help books, Falwell and Bakker were background noise, and damnation and hellfire were dinner table discussions. I had never entertained before what a lacksadaisical approach to god could get me! Holy shit! I got really bummed that my Jesus dissing could have repercussions. Luckily, boobs beat bibles, or i may have acquiesced to the Kool-Aid.
5. Rejection.
. I went on the Holy Land tour in '93. For five years the hellbound questions had plagued me. Surely here of all places I could get an answer to my dilemma, I reasoned. After multiple instances of 'scholars best guess, likely location of, potentially...' type qualifiers used to explain the life and times of Christ!, I had enough. My common sense was always true; it was irrational emotion that held me back. The bonds of delusion were severed...I was free. I was so exhilerated by the thought that I partied hard the rest of the tour. (And got busted in rank at the insistance of the Army chaplain in charge of our group. He says I was disrespectful...I say he meant not deferential enough.)
6. Acceptance.
. Some say lack of hard evidence isn't evidence enough. Fine. The last twenty some years I have seen, heard, read or experienced evidence that further contradicts biblical truths. My 'deconversion' at the gates of the Western Wall may have just been a starting point, but nothing in the journey makes me want to pull a u-turn.
I'm not sure how this fits tidily into the earlier posts' 'steps'...but there ya go.
PS- In all fairness, LSD also contributed.
1. Complacency.
God was just 'there'...no questions to the contrary. (Age-through about 7).
2. Confusion.
I was seven, maybe eight, when the sudden notion that god was eternal became absurd. My mother suggested i talk to our pastor about it. His response, I remember clearly!, was to cut my mom a look, compose his thoughts, and say 'he's eternal because he's god'. Circular logic at it's best. This led to-
3. Complacency, Part 2
. I spent my early years singing songs and praying to god like I was taught, but now things were different. It seemed now to be a 'quaint' habit, and one not to dwell on. So I didn't.
4. Fear.
. My parents done and went born again when I was 14. Soon the family library was filled with godidit self help books, Falwell and Bakker were background noise, and damnation and hellfire were dinner table discussions. I had never entertained before what a lacksadaisical approach to god could get me! Holy shit! I got really bummed that my Jesus dissing could have repercussions. Luckily, boobs beat bibles, or i may have acquiesced to the Kool-Aid.
5. Rejection.
. I went on the Holy Land tour in '93. For five years the hellbound questions had plagued me. Surely here of all places I could get an answer to my dilemma, I reasoned. After multiple instances of 'scholars best guess, likely location of, potentially...' type qualifiers used to explain the life and times of Christ!, I had enough. My common sense was always true; it was irrational emotion that held me back. The bonds of delusion were severed...I was free. I was so exhilerated by the thought that I partied hard the rest of the tour. (And got busted in rank at the insistance of the Army chaplain in charge of our group. He says I was disrespectful...I say he meant not deferential enough.)
6. Acceptance.
. Some say lack of hard evidence isn't evidence enough. Fine. The last twenty some years I have seen, heard, read or experienced evidence that further contradicts biblical truths. My 'deconversion' at the gates of the Western Wall may have just been a starting point, but nothing in the journey makes me want to pull a u-turn.
I'm not sure how this fits tidily into the earlier posts' 'steps'...but there ya go.
PS- In all fairness, LSD also contributed.
