Calculating the trajectory of jesus

[Captain Colostomy]

His velocity would have been too weak to get him past the moon. His orbit would have decayed, sending him plummeting back to earth, only to eventually burn upon re-entry.

His raising velocity wouldn't be enough to get him off the ground. If he was raising at actual escape velocity it would not he been like what acts tells at all. Poor jesus would have come apart given that earth escape velocity is 11 km/s. Just imagine Jesus's charred arm coming down in a town a few miles away.

Imagine the faithful flocking to worship it...because they would. The Church of the Charred Tibia would rival the Vatican.

Edit: It's been too long since my last anatomy class. You still get my meaning.