Creed's Ramble Thread

[Creed of Heresy]

Well, this thread WAS created for the sake of rambling and ranting and just generally doing whatever one needs to do to get shit off their mind. I feel guilty enough about what I've dragged my closest friends through already. I feel like I've completely overstayed my welcome with them. They tell me otherwise, and honestly, they probably don't feel that way, but there IS an element of guilt that exists there for me anyway. Better to just unload it all somewhere I know there's like-minds who'll get what I'm screaming about than to just bottle it up, which is, until my next appointment with the therapist, my only outlet.

I'm trying to enjoy life. Really am. It's hard as fuck, though, I don't really have much to enjoy and things I used to enjoy just don't elicit a response anymore. This fucking blank void, this dull gray blanket that covers everything. It's worse than the rage and misery. I got drunk not to try to squish the unhappiness, I drank because I knew it would cause the anger and the despair...because feeling something, even something BAD, is better than feeling nothing. I had been feeling nothing for days on end, just this cold nothingness.

My text-screaming rants on here are a RELIEF, they're an eruption of some kind of emotion, some kind of SOMETHING.

I'll have to talk to the therapist about this stuff on Tuesday.