Evolution Trumps Creationism

[Ryantology]

How many knocks did it take for the neighbor? One more than you are willing to give.

Dearest one,

How are you and your family today? I hope that you are all okay? I found information about you and decided to contact you for an important assistance. I am Jesus Christ a citizen of Heaven and the lord and savior of all mankind.

I am the only son of God the creator of all things who is perfect in every way. My Father is a bringer of Justice and a moving force in the cosmos, a part wanting to end the centuries of evil and wickedness. You will read more stories about the love and mercy of Our Father by reading 1 Chronicles 21:9-14 and Deuteronomy 22:23-24.

Here, is my reasons for contacting you, I need to spread the love of God to all around the world, for their own good. The Lord Our God is hidden in a safe place, where no instrument of science can ever detect Him. Though He is all-powerful, He cannot interact in any measurable or verifiable way with the material world, lest He destroy the faith of those who believe in Him.

I need your assistance in not sending you to Hell or Mississippi, so that I can arrange for all humankind to join me here in Heaven. I am willing to allow you to forsake your family, loved ones and all earthly pleasures, and offer me your undying love and undistracted dedication. Please, let me know if you can assist me, so that I can give you more details on how not to end up in Hell and subject to an eternity of the worst imaginable torture and torment upon your natural death. In exchange for your absolutely voluntary help, God will give you vague rewards after your natural death, again, so as not to destroy the faith of man. As I wait for your urgent response, please treat this information as top secret and keep A/S/King so that I can speak with you (never in a way anybody else will ever be able to verify, naturally). Thank you and God bless.

Regards,

Jesus, He who is Christ