Are we the same or different?

[downbeatplumb]

I like your attitude. Firstly, can I ask you why you believe in the holy spirit. What has caused you to belive this?

I am not try to deny you of your belief, but I am asking this as a basis to discussion.

I feel compelled to go places and say things which are against my conscious nature. Consciously I think I'd be happier living with 4 super-hot pornstar wifes, a ton of money nad eat whatever I want when I want. A clear analysis of myself to include as much subconscious desires as I can dredge up show that certain wants are superflous and not "true desires". When I can neither consciously or subconsciously see a way to achieve theese "true desires" in a step by step plan the holy spirit opens a door through extreme synchonicity and theese compelling to achieve theese "true desires" which lead me to a place of complete emotional contentment, despite my judgements and conscious decisions. I've experienced exhiliration in a clinical sense at concerts and through thrill seeking adventures, drinking, titilation from ticking and extreme sexual pleasure. In those cases I've sought excitement or had actions of others directly relateable to the end result of exhiliration. None of theese compare with "feeling the spirit". I'll say exhiliration would be a tingling or uncontrolable laughter/tears originating usually from the particularly affected area and radiating throughout the body in a progressive fashion. Let me give an example: Great concert, headbangin' music loud and awesome. I hear the music, my head get's moving and my ears get red. I'll get the hair on my neck to stand up and then my arms start moving and the tingling in my ears and neck continue to progress, etc.

Go steal a purse from an old lady, you'll feel guilty. It's not the exact opposite of exhiliration. It doesn't start in one place, it's generally an instintaneous feeling with no percievable originating or end until an action is taken to release it (giving it back, burning it, etc.)

When I experience the "spirit" it's not like a concert or rollercoaster. It's 10 to 20 times more intense and it's not progressive but instintaneous. It has no orinignating observable place. IT doesn't cease till I act deliberately against or in line with it's compelling. It doesn't happen when I consciously or unconsciously want or need it, seemingly out of it's own timeframe.

I've seen the spirit healing of laying on hands in person. I've felt prayers being answered. I've been informed of bad things happening to people I love, but weren't thinking about or known about. I had trusted people in the faith close to me and trusted tell me of experience seeing vision. All in the spiirt and that's a brief, rushed version of why.

So God is a mixture of guilt and delusion.

Are you a catholic?