RE: The Soloist Singer
October 31, 2013 at 1:42 pm
(This post was last modified: October 31, 2013 at 2:20 pm by freedomfromforum.)
I was a Christian praise band leader in three separate churches over a span of seven years. People join praise bands for many different reasons. It is true that there is a measure of what I would have at one time called ‘idol worship’ within some individuals and even within some entire sets. I’ll return to the idol worship bit in a moment. I joined the first band immediately following my conversion as a way of integrating into the community. I love to sing and I have a pretty good voice, so I thought that the band would be a place where I would readily be able to plug my talents into serving the church. I was instantaneously accepted by the band and the congregation, and I got my first taste of Christian ‘fame’. I regularly received accolades from church members for my ‘beautiful voice’, and I was asked to lead the band with guitar and vocals. As a new Christian I had no idea what worship was, and I was unprepared for leadership while still so new to the faith. I’ll cut this part of the story short and just say that I learned a lot about motives and desires while serving on the team, my own, as well as those of people applying to join the band. I stayed in that band for two years, and when it was time to move on, I left that church.
On to the next church. By now I had been a Christian long enough to know the ins and outs of the business. I knew who’s ass to kiss to get what I wanted, and what I wanted was to be in the band. It seems that my former experience had borne something within me that now required recognition and attention, and rather than praising Jesus, I sought praise for myself. Once again, my voice stands out, and I am approached by the band leader who asks me if I’d like to try out for the (worship) team. Are you seeing a pattern here? Once accepted by the team, I rapidly progressed to leadership, and I was again asked to lead with vocals. By now my head was huge and my ego was soaring, and I was the savior of the band again. I lead that band alongside the pastor’s scantily-clad 20 year-old daughter with her bouncing boobs and stretch pants for three years before I had to quit. I could not stand how much of a performance the whole thing was for everyone involved. From the pastor making musical cues he was unskilled in, to band members bickering over strum patterns and harmonies, to the general sense of ‘this is just a band’ and it has nothing to do with Jesus except the lyrical content. I was finished.
A few more years and another church later I was at it again. The third story is nearly identical to the two former stories, so I’ll spare you all the details. It is sufficient to say that I was faking it most of the time I was involved in the church bands, and for my part, there was little to no reverence toward anything other than my warm salt water gargles. Am I saying that all people in all church bands are like I was? No. But I will solemnly report that most, if not all of my fellow band members, singers, directors, and musicians, were in it for themselves and their own glory.
As for the ‘idol worship’ bit, I think it boils down to simply being a matter of nature. It is the bible that calls such things ‘idols’ and labels them as sin. We atheists are without sin, as we reject the concept offhand. Perhaps for a Christian it is an idol, and for me it was, but now I see it as human nature. Was my behavior ugly? Yes. But I will no longer squelch my humanity in submission to a deity that calls my nature sinful or idolatrous. Instead, I now have the freedom to decide for myself if my behavior was inappropriate, and to make necessary adjustments. No guilt - just progress and forward motion. What a petty god that needs to bury mankind in the mire of its own wickedness and fear.
Oh yeah, I almost forgot. The pattern I alluded to is the fact that little to no background investigation was done on me prior to being invited to participate in something the church considers a vital spiritual action known as ‘worship’. The church is more desperate for worldly things than the ’things of god’ on any given day - they just can’t see it. After all, a great singer makes them look good. Why bother finding out if someone is genuine? Overall I found church band members to be prideful and selfish. The only church band I found to be bigger narcissists than the worship teams were the pastors and administrators, or as I like to call them, the Gestapo.
Had to post these...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3RJBd8zE4...EAWPcbTw8k
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xEAWPcbTw8k
On to the next church. By now I had been a Christian long enough to know the ins and outs of the business. I knew who’s ass to kiss to get what I wanted, and what I wanted was to be in the band. It seems that my former experience had borne something within me that now required recognition and attention, and rather than praising Jesus, I sought praise for myself. Once again, my voice stands out, and I am approached by the band leader who asks me if I’d like to try out for the (worship) team. Are you seeing a pattern here? Once accepted by the team, I rapidly progressed to leadership, and I was again asked to lead with vocals. By now my head was huge and my ego was soaring, and I was the savior of the band again. I lead that band alongside the pastor’s scantily-clad 20 year-old daughter with her bouncing boobs and stretch pants for three years before I had to quit. I could not stand how much of a performance the whole thing was for everyone involved. From the pastor making musical cues he was unskilled in, to band members bickering over strum patterns and harmonies, to the general sense of ‘this is just a band’ and it has nothing to do with Jesus except the lyrical content. I was finished.
A few more years and another church later I was at it again. The third story is nearly identical to the two former stories, so I’ll spare you all the details. It is sufficient to say that I was faking it most of the time I was involved in the church bands, and for my part, there was little to no reverence toward anything other than my warm salt water gargles. Am I saying that all people in all church bands are like I was? No. But I will solemnly report that most, if not all of my fellow band members, singers, directors, and musicians, were in it for themselves and their own glory.
As for the ‘idol worship’ bit, I think it boils down to simply being a matter of nature. It is the bible that calls such things ‘idols’ and labels them as sin. We atheists are without sin, as we reject the concept offhand. Perhaps for a Christian it is an idol, and for me it was, but now I see it as human nature. Was my behavior ugly? Yes. But I will no longer squelch my humanity in submission to a deity that calls my nature sinful or idolatrous. Instead, I now have the freedom to decide for myself if my behavior was inappropriate, and to make necessary adjustments. No guilt - just progress and forward motion. What a petty god that needs to bury mankind in the mire of its own wickedness and fear.
Oh yeah, I almost forgot. The pattern I alluded to is the fact that little to no background investigation was done on me prior to being invited to participate in something the church considers a vital spiritual action known as ‘worship’. The church is more desperate for worldly things than the ’things of god’ on any given day - they just can’t see it. After all, a great singer makes them look good. Why bother finding out if someone is genuine? Overall I found church band members to be prideful and selfish. The only church band I found to be bigger narcissists than the worship teams were the pastors and administrators, or as I like to call them, the Gestapo.
Had to post these...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3RJBd8zE4...EAWPcbTw8k
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xEAWPcbTw8k
