Just wanted to ask a question

[Angrboda]

I think being lonely can happen along multiple dimensions simultaneously. One can be lonely as a consequence of something specific about you, lonely just by being human, lonely about X at time T1 but not at time T2, and so on. Then there are systemic causes, unique to traits or personal choices. In psychology, there is the concept of 'minority stress' () wherein being a disadvantaged minority, you suffer additional stresses that non-minorities do not, including both direct stress (proximal stress), in which you face tangible repression from others because of their views on the people of your minority; then there is the indirect stress (distal stress) which comes with the psychological behaviors associated with coping with, fearing, or managing the proximal, immediate stress. (e.g. Proximal = "You're gay and that's an abomination in the eyes of the Lord"; Distal = hiding the fact that one is open to same sex relationships when one's peers would not approve). Studies aren't complete on this, but there is a strong case for the notion that minority stress exists, and negatively impacts the psychological health, physical health, and socio-economic success of people vulnerable to minority stress.

I will preface by saying I'm a loner, shy, and prefer solitary pursuits; I dissociate my emotions off a lot, so rarely feel the emotion known as loneliness. That being said, I suffer various extra challenges and stresses because I am a minority in several ways, including religion, being physically handicapped, being mentally ill, and being a member of the LGBT spectrum. Specifically as a religious minority, I am a Shakta Hindu and a Taoist. The Taoism doesn't generate much stress, but the Shaktism does. I've thought of finding a Hindu temple locally to patronize, but I'm not ethnically Asian Indian, culturally, and my type of Hinduism is less mainstream and potentially more likely to be incompatible with the Hinduism of the community of participants at a more mainstream Hindu temple, who tend to, often, bias toward Shaivism and Vaishnavism, and neglect if not outright avoid serving the needs of Shakta in the community. Fortunately or not, I have practiced my spirituality in isolation my whole life, so it's my baseline. Taoism is similar but less intense; I don't know of any community of like minded Taoists locally, and I live in a large metropolis. I have in the past found solace congregating with the more secular Unitarian Universalist communities, and informal humanist, skeptic, atheist, and Buddhist communities. Buddhism and myself have an uneasy relationship, but the seculars suit me fairly well. All the same, this is simply staunching the wound rather than sewing the wound closed. But it is what it is.


I've probably got more to say, but that's enough for now.