Insatiable Flirt

[Rayaan]

Okay - maybe so - I'm confident already, and the boost isn't 'fixing' anything so maybe I don't always equate the two.

- But in a different post, you admitted that you admire confidence because you lack it.
- In another post, you admitted that one man completely devastated your confidence and then it took five other guys to "fix" it.
- Elsewhere, you wrote that you don't have a general lot of confidence in yourself ...

And, in this thread, you're telling me that you never flirt for your own confidence/ego boost as if you have no need for that at all. "I'm confident already."


Try harder not to contradict yourself, please.

Ah, okay - you seemed to suggest when you first wrote in that it was about MY ego boost, hence the reason I said it's not really about mine - it's about that other person.

So ... if it's not about increasing your ego, at all ... then why did you write all this stuff about feeling so important and all:

There's a certain something about romance where the person who is romancing you makes you feel like the stars - for a time - revolve around you. You feel important. You might already know you're important to any number of people, but this one particular person (or many - it can be more than one at a time) turns the world into a smorgasbord of sensation, and you're at the center of a whirlwind of excitement and nerves and happiness so bone-deep, you feel drenched in light. The world could be going to hell in a handbasket around you, and you would be there, incandescent and hopeful, because the delight suffuses you utterly.

None of the above applies to you? It's supposed to be everything for the other person now?

I don't flirt with people whose egos I don't want to boost and 99% of the time I don't need it myself.

Which would mean that the ego boost is almost never for yourself, right?

Yet again ... it's very clear that when Kay wrote that flirting is "harmless fun and a great ego boost," you knew that she was talking about the act of flirting as being both fun and an ego boost for herself, and then you responded to that by saying that ... it should be always about that (i.e. fun and ego boost). If those two things were more attributed to the other person than yourself (or herself), then you would have mentioned it, but you didn't, and the reason is clear. You went from "flirting should be for ego boost" to "flirting is more about ego boost for the other person." And now you've been trying to dance around the fact that you changed your argument.

But too bad you weren't subtle enough.

The distinction may be a subjective one. I never insinuated that I assess my skill level by the recognition of others. I said that I assess them from my own observation. I provide my own feedback based very loosely on the responsiveness of others.

You have a point.

But, in the the case of flirting, it seems like the ego boost comes to you more at the expense of flattering other people about who you are, because flirting itself is not really sincere. Oftentimes people try to hide their true feelings and their intentions by modifying themselves with beautiful make-up and clothes and whatever things they put on, and then they may try to act completely differently in front of other people ... accompanied by sweet words and compliments even though they may not sincerely mean it. I know all that BS. The whole flirting thing is theatrical.

The desire to be admired by flirting is more a sign of a poor ego. And the boost you get out of it is very shaky and transient, if not artificial.