my testemonial

[Whateverist]

His claim to have been an atheist that hated god immediately brands him as a theist pretending to be an atheist.

Fuck me, it's like they're not even trying.

Let me try:

Hello godless atheists. I used to be as you are now. Just hated God something fierce I did. Bossing me around, insisting that I give up fornicating, raping and killing. Basically messing with all my fun.

Anyhoo .. after years of hard living and self-abuse, when I got low enough .. about like you poor bastards .. I got a call out of the blue. I knew God was trying to tell me something, that He loved me and wanted more for me. Well gosh, I wept and wept. I got down on my knees and begged His forgiveness. Yep, I got right with God right there and I've been on my knees ever since.

Now I don't even want to do all that shit you guys do anymore. Raping and cannibalism have no claim on me. When people blaspheme around me, my soul just winces. If only you knew how much God loves you, you would cease taking his name in vain and forcing yourself on the rest of His creation in ungodly fornication.

Listen, if I can do it so can you! I was the lowest of the low, much worse than you and God knows you're bad (very bad). Okey dokey, my work here is done. Thanks for listening to a former atheist scum. Hope to see some of you on Sunday. Toodlaloo!