What is love?

[ShaMan]

My apologies, I missed your first inquiry. The compound in my avatar is a common, naturally occurring amino acid alkaloid in the phenethylamine class. You'd find it in a few common landscape plants.

I thought it was an amino acid. Any particular reason for using it in your avatar?

Oh yes indeed

And the mystery ensues.

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My happiness is unaffected by the status of that of my spouse, and yet I "love" her dearly. I can empathize with her if she is suffering, but my "happiness" is independent of hers, and is not co-dependent upon hers.

Then turn it around. If you wife is temporarily miserable, is you own happiness unaffected during that time? If so, I'm unsure how you can say that you 'love' her, and but be happy when she is not.

Boru

I am not an emotional leech (my term, not yours). I needn't feel miserable simply because someone I "love" is unhappy. If to you, "love" means that one must emote in accord with their mate, then we have vastly differing perspectives on what "love" is. I have said that "feelings" (including love) are all the byproducts of chemical reactions in the brain. If my mate's chemicals are in a "bad" place, and she therefore feels "unhappy", then what benefit does our team gather by disturbing my "good" chemical mix with "bad" emotions?

I liken this mindset to the dysfunctional phrase.. "Happy wife, happy life". Neither my spouse nor I buy into the trap. Once again, I can be empathetic, but I needn't hinder my [brain soup] to do so.