It really scares me.

[Mudhammam]

That's like saying you convinced yourself of atheism because you don't like the idea of God existing.

Ummmm no. You haven't even defined what God is... okay wait, so far I've gathered that God:
1) Is masculine or personal
2) Doesn't explain anything
3) Provides context to life itself, although how you never say
4) Is beyond the natural world but "he" can certainly be within the natural world he created...somehow
5) Our causal chain of physical events has to begin.. So why not just call that unknown beginning "God," eh?
6) Is supreme reality
7) Can bring you closer to ultimate reality
8) How supreme reality and ultimate reality differ from perceived reality, well, only God knows
9) There's "evidence," but not "scientific evidence."

Just out of curiosity, are you going to say something new or useful about God that desert dwellers couldn't have said thousands of years ago when they needed to think him up to explain weather events? You have said a lot...without saying much of anything at all. Again, what is your obsolete, mysterious, undefined, pseudoscientific idea of God good for? Your personal comfort? Sorry, it doesn't "do it" for me or anyone else who uses an ounce of their common sense.

Why believe in the worst case scenario when you can just believe in the best case scenario when either scenario can be demonstrated to be valid in light of the facts we know? If evolution and the Big Bang aren't reasons to not believe in God and science doesn't provide any reasons that negate Gods existence then whats stopping you? It's just going to be what you happen to like and your own opinion, if you want to play that card it can easily just be handed back to you.

Do you believe in Hell? That's the worst case scenario I can imagine. Science does provide reasons for rejecting God: he offers no explanatory power for anything anymore, as you've thoroughly demonstrated.