Why did God murder children for making fun of a bald guy?

[Urizen]

]The excessively effuse verbiage and unnecessarily torturous extension of sentence structure may not have delivered the impression of intellectual capacity and veracity of expressive intention which one may suspect the author desired. The adage that "the medium is the message" is not one which bears close examination, the message is the message and the loquacious and needless obfuscation of a simple concept behind pretentious prose does nothing to distract from the core inadequacy of the argument.

Sometimes people accuse others of pretentiousness when their own pretensions are slighted. Every word was chosen for its meaning. If there is any expression that seems obscure to you, or if you are unused to metaphysical language, then you need only ask for clarification, and it will be provided. Defects of language are acknowledged, but the aim is always clearness and accuracy of expression. If metaphysical language sounds pretentious to you, it is only because you are unused to such language. If you don't like the choice of words then suggest alternative expressions; do not assume that people are motivated by your intellectual vanities.

The hypothesising of the alternative textual meaning in which the author indulges, even if based in sound hermeneutical principles, does nothing to detract from the moral turpitude of the core precept, that is the wanton and needlessly violent slaying of young people when equally effective and less terminal options were readily available.

Two things can be said to that. The first: to accuse God of cruelty, is like blaming nature for the law of gravity, or accusing a triangle of immorality for having four sides instead of three. It is to reduce something grounded on the ontological level, to the moral and psychological, and thus to make man the measure of reality. Justice is simply in the nature of things. It may seem 'cruel' to the effete sensibilities of late modernity, but justice is a causal operation rooted in the law of equilibrium. To say reality, is to include justice.

The second point is that God is beyond human good and evil: "I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the Lord do all these things" (Isaiah 45:7). God "separated the light from the darkness" (i.e. good from evil). Jesus "came not to bring peace, but to bring a sword"; that is, he came to set good against evil. But the divine substance itself is beyond all dualism. To abolish dualism would be to destroy existence.

Furthermore the extended meaning which cognitive dissonance demands that he extrapolated to the naked and self evident meaning of the text is inconsistent with the use of language in the passage which clearly states that the youths were mocking elisha, not threatening him.

"Go up" is an idiomatic expression. As such it derives its meaning from its cultural associatioms, not the naked and literal meaning of its constituent elements. This is not a matter of controversy, but the determined atheist is so afraid of finding truth in things that he must confine his understanding to the superficial level. If he reads the Bible, it is to uncover its faults, and one of the ways he does this is by applying a mechanical and ill-intentioned literalism to every passage - even to idiomatic expressions. You should read everthing honestly and with an open heart. Do not be deceived by your own vanities; aim only for the truth, and nothing less.

The true intention of the mob is also revealed by the fact that God destroyed them, since God is justice itself, not merely an agency of justice: to say justness, is to say God. When wrong-doers are destroyed or "punished" by God, it is a symbolic illustration of immanent justice. Reality is just.

Or we can talk like normal human beings

Take no thought of appearing normal or abnormal in the eyes of man. The vanities of this world mean nothing in the light of truth.

instead of pretentious pricks who think access to Google thesaurus adds weight to a dodgy argument

The mind is the only thesaurus one ever needs. Let the truth speak and the words will come of themselves. No man can take credit for the truth. As for argument, instead ask questions. The truth can only be found in yourself. Knowledge is the reflection of the Real upon itself, which is act of interiorisation, not argument.