I'm too dumb to be an atheist

[Wyrd of Gawd]

The big bang is just a theory, with only really 1 observable, background radiation and expansion.

That's 2 observables...
And you forgot the usage of spectroscopy to determine the distance of far away stars, and also their element content.
The farther away, the oldest, the simpler the elements present in the star.

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We have not observed gravity waves, they are just a theory as is general relativity or any unified theory of physics.

General relativity was proven when gravitational lensing was discovered with exactly the same "strength" as predicted by the theory.

unified theory?... hmmm... CERN is working on it.. and it seems the Higgs is an actual particle thus connecting electro-weak force to gravity.

We have not observed magnetic monopoles, or proton decay, they are just theories and if the standard model is correct, they don't exist.
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Someone's a bit behind the times.... http://www.iflscience.com/physics/synthe...reated-lab

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String theory is just as likely to be wrong as Quantum Chromodynamics before it. Everything Hawking has worked on could be totally wrong.

QCD is a part of the standard model, you know?....

But we have seen the evolution of 3 generations of stars create all the non-hydrogen in the universe quite clearly, over a 10 billion year visible history. Look up stellar metalicity and geochronology. That is all 50 year old solid science. And watch religiosity. And visit the grand canyon visitor's center and reread the story of Noah. Anyone can see the truth if they open their eyes.

Really?
Are you hinting that the grand canyon was carved by the flood? oh boy... -.-'

Why do people get so fixated on the bleeding edge of science for people who can't do math? Just to undermine the credibility of Atheism as a philosophy, or to sound smart? Because from where I am sitting, it does not sound smart at all.

Because theists ask questions regarding the gaps of knowledge...
In the olden times, they would ask about lightning, but nowadays... they force us to get the newest results available... and even those aren't enough.
It happens that, sometimes, an "I don't know" is the only honest answer we've got.

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So using that logic it's possible to determine which of these lights is the oldest. I wonder which one it is?
http://apod.nasa.gov/apod/ap001127.html