(April 3, 2014 at 2:34 pm)ShaMan Wrote: What - Will - Jim - Do?
My best friend Jim shared with me today that his wife confessed to cheating on him. She explained that she had a very brief affair and that it was over. She told him that she feels terrible and would like another chance to show him she still loves him very much. She sobbed as she tried to explain to him why she thought she had done it, and how it had affected her. Jim asked me for my advice - he wanted to know how to respond to her... I responded immediately.
What advice would you give "Jim".
Ummm I would need to know a lot more about Jim and his wife I think. Cheating is a silly word to me. I don't see having sex with other people as that big of a deal. What is a big deal is lying or breaking trust/promises.
Jim has to decide first is he going to be able to live with this and he needs to be honest with himself about this. If he says yes when it's no that is unfair to himself and his wife. If the answer is no then next steps are kind of obvious, so let's say it's yes.
Jim has a lot of discussion to have with his wife. Is she happy and is he? Are they missing some key factor in their sex life? Does she desire to have more people involved in their sex life? Does he think he can live with that?
I don't have any experience in this area, but I do have outsider experience (like watching this sort of thing happen to people I know). In my opinion, the best way to avoid "cheating" is to be open and honest. Don't deny yourself or your partner things they desire sexually. If you're going to have sex with other people, do it together or at least discuss it and make it a safe acceptable open thing....well that's what I think.
