Darwin Fish out of water

[naturestubbs1]

Greetings fellow freethinkers. I am so happy that I have finally found a "safe" place with which to share my beliefs and experiences. I fear that I have WAAAAYYY too much to say after 40 years of feeling like the world around me makes absolutely no sense. I have recently suffered a fall from an 8-foot step ladder and went through some bizarre occurances that, had I not been so grounded in the scientific method from as far back as I can remember I would have definitely chalked my experience up as a "born again" tale. On the other hand, because I am a science fanatic it has sent me on a journey to discover exactly what has happened in my brain. It is something that I have only seen in hollywood and, have retreated far back into myself because the "spiritual" people around me just would not understand. Skipping the physiological minutae, I came out of my experience with a desperate need to help people who could not help themselves. Unfortunately my family wants to commit me because I have been helping people with odd jobs they can't do (because I have the knowledge, the means, the tools, and most jobs only take a few minutes). I have been seeking strangers and have NO alterior motive and don't even ask for gas money. What has driven me to this site is the feeling that, If I was a Christian I would simply be doing the "lords work." Since I am an Atheist who just wants to help expecting nothing in return I have lost my marbles and am in need of serious psychiatric care. This was the final straw from someone who has known with 100 percent certainty that he was an atheist. No kidding, my earliest memory of "scratching my head" at people in church was at the age of 3. I don't know how or why, but it is a view that I have not deviated from in 39 years (I am 42). I am truly a "darwin fish out of water." I have never met a fellow atheist and have hundreds of feelings and stories that I need to get off of my chest. I am so glad to have found this outlet. I will apologize in advance for what will be endless hours of rambling, but like I said, the world around me is cuckoo.